Feeling better
The difference between unsuccessful people and successful people often
comes down to one thing: mental toughness.
You can be someone who lets failure derail you, feel
like a victim, and tell “your story” of defeat to everyone you know. Or you can do the most difficult and healthy
thing of all: move on and try a different approach to accomplish your goals.
Here are three mental tricks I use to feel better when
I want to give up.
1. Give Someone A Genuine,
Massive Compliment
The reason this technique works is that it takes the
focus off of yourself. It’s easy to
become self-centered and overly focused on your own problems until you realize
something very important: everyone feels like this at times. everyone is insecure about something.
You aren’t alone, and I’ve found that one of the most
therapeutic things you can do is make someone’s day. Totally out of the blue, give them a massive,
genuine compliment.
It can feel a little bit weird to do this over the
phone, so I usually cheat and send a text message.
To someone I go running with who is trying to lose
weight, I might say “I’m so impressed at your determination, you’re getting
faster ,keep it up!”.
To someone I saw at a party last night I might say, “I
don’t know what it was about you last night, but you looked really
classy/confident/beautiful/etc for some reason. Whatever you are doing, keep it
up!”
To someone who has an important interview/game/speech
coming up I might say, “You’re going to do great, you’ve worked really hard for
this and you deserve it!”
Your goal should be to make them blush or fill them
with confidence. Make someone else’s day
with a massive genuine compliment to take the focus off of yourself and you’ll
start to feel better right away.
2. Be Thankful For What You’ve
Learned
No matter how bad it is, now matter how much it hurts,
no matter how much money you lost….the lesson you learned from it is far more
valuable, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.
Even if someone totally took advantage of you or did
you wrong, take a minute to actually thank them in your own mind or out
loud. You can bet it will feel strange
and it will go against every instinct in your body, but thank them for teaching
you such a valuable lesson. It will make
you that much stronger next time.
When an unscrupulous contractor took advantage of me
on a real estate deal, I was filled with anger and frustration. Most of all I was mad at myself for letting
him do it. I ended up taking him to
court which caused even more frustration and lost sleep. But in the end I was able to thank him for
teaching me such a valuable lesson. If I
hadn’t had this setback, I would be just as naive. I wouldn’t know to get a rock solid contract
next time. I wouldn’t know to inspect
the property more thoroughly before making the last payment!
The money I lost on that deal has taught me enough to
make it back ten fold down the line. It
was worth every penny in education.
3. Read Some Quotes From The
Greats
Finally, when I’m feeling down I like to read some
quotes from some of the most successful people of all time. This is a great reminder that EVERYONE must
face setbacks. In fact, it is a
pre-requisite for success. There is no
record of anybody accomplishing anything without MANY setbacks and failures
along the way.
Setbacks let you know that you’re making progress.
